http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/iggy-azalea-quits-social-media-bikini-body-criticized-article-1.2121152?cid=bitly

First off, I'm disgusted. With February being Eating Disorder Awareness month, I can't help but feel more passionate about relaying the message, that body shaming must stop!!

While I may not be a raging fan of Iggy Azaleas music, I can appreciate the fact that she is a HUMAN BEING people! She has a heart! Body shaming her at all, and expecially because of some freaking cellulite is asinine! 98% of women have the ever-so-lovely, cottage cheesy flesh...so get used to it!

Focus more on yourself.  I guarantee you're not perfect. Get a life. That's all.

Life with Ed

At first, Ed seemed like a really nice guy. Mysterious, comfortable and charming.  He understood me, and I understood him.  He was that bad boy my Mom always told me I shouldn't see, but he made me feel free- free from all of the troubles in my life that had kept me down. Now- I could finally breathe. I think I might like him. Let's see if we can take this to the next level.

10 years later, Ed and I were still together. Although now, our relationship had made a 360 degree turn, for the worse. Ed began controlling me.  I thought I had my life under control and that I owned it; boy was I wrong! Ed had completely taken over the Lindsay I once knew. He had manipulated my my thoughts, self-worth and life. I was in a trance; hypnotized. 

I no longer had relationships my friends and family. And if I did, I would often scurry out in a hurry to cater to Ed's needs. I would lie to anyone and everyone so they wouldn't think that Ed was the one controlling me. All to familiar excuses like, "I don't feel well, I'm going to have to head out." or "my dog is sick, I really should get home", weren't uncommon endings to most outings. I honestly made up any and every excuse possible to go tend to Ed's needs. 

I knew I had to end it- end it with Ed. It had been way too long. Too many tears, lies, lost friendships and heartache for this to continue on. He was toxic. He robbed me of my life and everything I had once stood for.  I was a liar, a thief, a fraud. I had to break this spell that Ed had cast upon me. 

The day came when I decided to blind-side Ed. After having gone out one night to watch a American Music Awards with a friend of mine, Ed started calling, and calling. Threatening me if I didn't leave right then and there.  I ignored him. I stayed.  

I will forever be grateful for my courage that day.  I no longer let Ed control me and drive me to that miserable place he was on the regular. Now, I'm free.

Ed was my Eating Disorder.  I was bulimic for the better part of 10 years.  I've been in recovery for over 3, and I've never been happier.

This blog is a place for me to learn from myself- past mistakes, trials, feats and triumphs.  I'll post past struggles with new-found strengths as I try and stay strong in learning to love myself just the way I am.  

GM Diet

It's currently T-minus 5 days until I head to beautiful Maui, Hawaii.  Neither Greg or myself have ever been.  I've been shopping for cute beach clothes, getting my tan on and even eyelash extensions! I'm so excited to not have to worry much about my makeup while snorkeling and frolicking in the sand.

Speaking of frolicking, usually those participating in such fun, don a small piece of fabric; many like to call a bathing suit. Crap! Where has the time gone! I swear, I've been planning for this trip for months now! Why on earth have I not lost a pound?? Moreover, why the hell have I gained a pound or two? 

Well, not to dive into my love/hate relationsihp with dieting, I'll skip to the fad diet I'm willing to give a go. The winner is.... the GM Diet! http://www.gmdietworks.com/ 

Stay tuned, while I give you daily updates while attempting to lose about 5-8 lbs in 6 days.  Diet is meant to be followed for 7 days, but you know, I started a day late. (if followed 7 days, can lose 10-17 lbs) 

Day 1:  Fruits only (except bananas)

Start weight:144.0

am: Strawberries

midday: Watermelon (1/2 cup) & peach & orange

snack: Extra small apple 

pm: pear

snack: strawberries

Review:  Overall, steady energy throughout the day.  Stayed busy at work. Only time I got hungry was while writing this blog at night.  Day one wasn't bad at all! In fact, I enjoyed not having to worry about what my next meal was going to be.  Tonight, I'm prepping the "Miracle Soup" to cook in the crockpot, so I can have ready for tomorrow. 

Day 2: Veggies only

Weight: 141.6 !!!!! :)

Woke up feeling light and refreshed.. literally! Much to my surprise, the scale came in 2.4 lbs under yesterdays weight! I'm feeling strong.

am: coffee, water, and the recommended Potato with a pad of butter- felt like Christmas!

midday: cauliflower & Miracle soup  (soup was gross. no flavor)

pm: FAIL! Greg and I along with some friends went to go see Journey last night.. well, I wasn't going to drink or eat anything outside of my diet, but I did. YOLO! (I hate that word)

Day 3:  Veggies and Fruits only ( still no bananas)

Weight: 142.6

Of course the loss the water weight was quickly gained back after my short-lived love affair with beer, wine and steak.  Oh well, back on the wagon I go!

am: green tea smoothie: green tea, kale, spinach, celery, handful of mango, strawberry, guava (from Costco) one packet of stevia, 1/2 squeeze of lemon. DELISH!

snack: orange

midday: artichoke

snack: snap peas/ cauliflower

Overall, sort of hungry, but no real appetite, cause the last thing I want to eat is another damn carrot!:

Intermission:

Here we are, about 10 days after I began my diet.  Let's just say, I should have known better.  I gained the few lbs. I lost back, plus a few, thanks so many Mai-Tai's and 3 meals a day of dining out.

Having really been focusing on Eating Disorder Awareness week this month, I have been able to quickly change my mental focus from a usual disappointment